“You smelly sloth”! “You budding Homosapien”! I was sitting by the window sipping tea and watching children play during the short break when I heard these words. I looked down and saw two boys from class six in a fight.
One boy was screaming these words at the other. I could not contain my curiosity.
It was beyond my comprehension why anybody should be using these words. I went down, pacified the boys and asked where he had learned these words. Very sheepishly the boy told me that he was in the habit of using swear words and his mother , in order to get him out of this bad habit, gave him these words to use instead. She said these are harmless words and will not hurt anybody! Wow!! What therapy!
Parents and teachers are horrified at the ease with which children blurt out swear words “Oh, shit!” utters five-year-old Nisha while retrieving a crayon from under the desk. When Varun gets pushed by his classmates while playing football, he turns around and snarls “F…. you”. When parents hear their children mutter swear words under their breath, their first reaction is to blame the school. But schools say most children pick up bad words at home!
A child learns most of his initial mannerisms and behaviour from the family. He picks up language from what he hears at home, from friends and other family members.
Research too shows that when a child sees an adult handling frustration and anger with swear words, he does the same when caught in a similar situation. In fact, he uses it at the first opportunity. Dr. Bina Mohapatra, Clinical psychologist and Department Head at the National Institute for the Mentally Handicapped, Secunderabad, says that most four letter words are used by children in the age groups of four to six years. They usually do not understand the meaning. But when it becomes a habit with older children, then parents must seek professional help.
Dr. Bina says parents who do not want their child to use bad words should first eliminate them from their own vocabulary.
They should refrain from using swear words, especially when in anger. She also stresses the fact that being parents does not give them the privilege or the right to use obscene language.
Often, the more a child is told to stop using foul words, the more determined he gets to use it.
The correct way then to deal is by talking to the child. Help your child overcome the habit by encouraging him to express himself and articulate his feelings.
The child has to be told that abusive language is not an acceptable social behaviour.
In some cases, give the child a replacement word. Choose an impressive and harmless word from biology and tell him he can use it!
FARIDA RAJ
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